Despite My Best Efforts
by storygirl07
Summary: This is my first attempt at a RobinPatrick Story. CommentsCritiques are welcomed!
1. Chapter 1

_This is a first attempt… I have **no** idea of how to effectively do dialogue. So you could be in for a lot of self-reflection as I try and learn how to write…_

Another day. Another day of the same old same old. Being able to save people was definitely rewarding, but somehow now, it didn't feel, well quite as romantic. Not romantic in the sense of endless, all-consuming love, but romantic in the sense of the noble doctor sacrificing to make a difference in peoples' lives. Before she had thought there was something terribly tragic and romantic about being a physician, someone dedicated to saving other people, while she herself was doomed to a certain fate. She acknowledged it fit a bizarre self martyrdom complex that she occasionally exhibited, but she honestly did have the best of intentions in becoming a doctor. Now though, she just felt bad. As much as she loved her job, or rather knew she loved her job, she was bored. Flat out bored. Bored with her job, bored with her life, and bored with herself. It was ironic that she, the daughter of two super-sleuths, and possibly the most colorful individuals to ever reside in Port Charles, wasn't living a life, merely existing.

She could feel the hair on the back of her neck rising, and an uncomfortable, I'm gonna be sick tightening in her stomach. So much for butterflies, she thought. Breathing deeply, she took a long sip of her latte. Though she hated to admit it, Starbucks was sheer bliss! But her moment in heaven was short-lived, as she heard the voice of General Hospital's very own Doctor Hottie behind her. "Is it really possible to love someone and hate them at the same time," she wondered. Her parents had a rather complex relationship, to put it mildly, and she wondered how much of the passion was based on love and how much on madness and aggravation. Trying to get a handle on her self-control, she continued to focus on her charts, but Liz and Patrick's voices kept breaking through her shield of disinterest. She wasn't sure what they were talking about, but she was certain that Lucky wouldn't be pleased to find out how much time they were spending together.

Knowing she wouldn't get anything done in her current frame of mind, Robin put down the patients file and reflected. She had been back in Port Charles for months. "It was weird then, and," she thought to herself, "it is still weird!" When she left for Paris, she thought she had lived an incredible life. She had found love, not once, but twice, dealt with crazy parents, death, violence, and a life threatening disease. But now back, she felt boring and old. And despite knowing she was old, she somehow felt young at the same time. Young, in that she, _she_, of all people felt naïve and inexperienced. Looking at Liz, years younger than her, who had already been married and pregnant, god only knows how many times. Or Emily, Jason's baby sister. If the rumors were true, she was with Sonny. Sonny the mobster. She couldn't help but compare herself. It was ridiculous. "Still, I am lucky," she told herself. Repeating it over and over in her head. "With one small exception, my life is perfect. I have a great job, supportive friends, and a family, dysfunctional, sure, but a family nonetheless…what more do I need." But she could hear that little voice in the back of her head… "Oh, shut up!"

"Robin," she heard a surprised Liz say, "are you okay?" Robin sighed inwardly, pasted a smile on her face, and turned around. It would, she suppose, be too much to hope that she hadn't been talking out loud, wouldn't it, especially with the way her luck was going these days. "You look remarkably in control for a girl who was hammering shots last night. I barely managed to drag myself out of the apartment this morning, and I am certain my hair still smells like ash." Robin laughed. "You know it may not seem like it, but I've been drinking a lot longer than you have. And though it was a long and painful process, I think I may have finally found a way to chase away a hangover." Robin knowingly avoided looking at Patrick, she knew he was there, a dark shadow watching and listening. But honestly, she didn't know what to say to him or what to do. She had been drunk last night, but despite her own words, not drunk enough to forget what had happened. And she wasn't about to let him throw her moment of weakness back at her.

Liz's beeper went off, looking down, she sighed, it was Lucky. She loved him, but he had been asking a lot of questions lately. She knew something was bothering him, but she wasn't sure what it was. And nothing she did seemed to make him happy. He was anxious and picking fights with everyone except Nicholas and Lulu. They were the only ones who could get him to even relax a little. Steeling herself to visit her husband, Liz looked up. The tension between Robin and Patrick was palpable. Robin hadn't left Jake's with them last night, and though Liz refused to gossip, she would have been liar, if she didn't admit to wanting to know what happened. Everyone knew there was something going on. The way they bickered – it was positively grade school. And according to Emily, at the Charity Auction, Patrick spent the whole time either talking about or looking at Robin. "I better check on Lucky you guys. Thanks for the coffee Dr. Drake."

Robin watched Liz walk down the hallway. She tried to prevent it, but she could feel her body stiffen and her defenses build. She didn't like who she became when Patrick was around, but she couldn't help it…


	2. He Said, She Said

Robin and Patrick looked at each other, saying nothing, both wanting to talk, but neither willing to risk being the first to speak. Patrick was worried about Robin flying into one of her mini-rants or worse still storming off. He wasn't sure she remembered anything from last night, but given his luck lately, she probably did. And the fact that he did her a favor by turning down her offer for no strings attached sex probably wouldn't earn him any brownie points. She would have hated herself when she woke up in the morning, and hated him even more for making her hate herself. So he did the right thing, the gentlemanly thing. Likely, she would see it as yet another rejection on his part. He ran his hands through his hair. Talk about the classic case of dammed if you do and dammed if you don't. Never could anyone have told him that a woman could be this brilliant, complicated, neurotic, and insane all at the same time! If only he could go back to the days of nameless, hot blondes. They were easy - in so many ways.

Robin was tempted to say something, but she bit it back. Going prickly on Patrick now, won't help and isn't worth it, she told herself. Besides Dr. Hottie was clearly having an off day. His hair didn't look washed and was sticking out at strange angles. She fought the urge to smooth it back into place, unsure if it would be appreciated. Feeling uncomfortable in their silence, something that was rarity when they were together, she asked, "Did we miss much last night? Were you at Jake's late?"

His voice was clearly tired when he replied, "Define late. If you mean waking up with your head down on the bar drooling with an empty bottle of tequila in your hand… yeah, then I'd say it was a long, late night."

"That's attractive. I'm sorry I missed it. Actually I'm more sorry that I didn't get pictures. I could have put that right next to picture of Epiphany giving you a sponge bath. We could call it something like 'Fast Times with Dr. Drake'," she smirked. "It sounds like Coleman didn't call you a cab back home."

"No, for some reason, which in this case I am totally comfortable with, he didn't find me attractive enough to warrant assistance. Did you and the girls make it back ok?"

Sirens were going off in Robin's head… they were skirting very close to her unfortunate and ill-timed proposition. But given the drunken stupor he managed to drink himself into, perhaps he forgot all about it or better yet chalked it up to a vivid dream. If she was _forced_ to fantasize about him at the bar, the least he could do was the same.

She looked at him quizzically. "Yeah, I made it home ok. Drank a gallon of water," she paused, testing his expression. "Literally! If there is one thing I learned last night it's that as much as I love the idea of knocking back shots… the aftermath. Me passed out on my couch with late night infomercials blaring is just sad. Oh hold on a sec, I wrote down some 1-800 numbers you might be interested."

I know I shouldn't have, Robin thought to herself, but it was too good an opportunity to pass up. Besides I just can't be nice to him... well at least not all the time and not all at once. We don't do that At least I don't think we do.

Patrick looked at her, admiring the sparkle in her eye and the determined tilt to her chin. So she's back at it. I wonder when she'll break out the 'I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth line'.

"Robin. Robin. Save the 1-800 numbers for some other lonely soul. You might actually want to think about calling one yourself." He heard her curse at him under her breathe. Oh, it was so much more fun when the tables were turned. "You forget I have only been in town for a couple of months. I still have the whole 6th and 7th floors to work my way through." Steam was literally shooting out of Robin's ears. She really made it too easy. Now it was time to go in for the kill. "I have to admit I never thought of you as one to _bang _down shots. But you, Dr. Scorpio are full of surprises."

Oh no, did he just wink at me? He remembers. Oh crap. The bastard remembers what I said and is going to take his time slowly and painfully humiliating me. Robin stretched unconsciously trying to get the crick out of neck. A massage would be so good, she thought as Patrick headed out for rounds.

"Come on Dr. Scorpio, I have patients to see and you have my bedside manner to criticize."


	3. Keeping Score

_Just to preface… this chapter serves no purpose other than to amuse me. And hopefully you. I swear my story has a plot. It just got lost somewhere, and I have to find it again. Be warned, it may take a couple chapters to get there… _

"So let's see that's Drake 3 and Scorpio 0." Patrick tallied up with his fingers.

Robin looked up at him bemused. "What are you talking about? Do you still have too much tequila in your bloodstream? It's practically coming out your pores. Did you notice how _your_ red head leaned so far away from you when you were explaining her complications that she nearly fell out of bed? You're losing your touch Dr. Drake. I have half a mind to send you down to detox. Or better yet, how about I buy you a coffee."

"Don't think you can buy me off that easily. I'm already up 3-0 and I intend to be up another two before the day is over. Maybe dinner, but coffee isn't enough to take me off my game."

"What are you talking about? What game are we playing this time? Was I supposed to be picking up nurses too? Is that why I'm at 0?"

"What's it with you and sex, Scorpio? I may have to do an intervention… I was referring to the Mailer twins. Their case absolutely merits surgery. Even you can't deny that."

"Errrgh," Robin threw her hands up in the air. She wasn't really sure what bothered her more, the constant comments about sex or the fact that Patrick would never listen to her medical opinions. "Is this some kind of game to you? You really are some kind of surgery junkie aren't you? Did you play Operation a few too many times back in High School? Or do you just like the sight of blood," unknowingly Robin's voice kept rising as she spoke. "These kids are four years old and you want to cut their heads open? Can't you just for once try and think of non-invasive measures that can be used to treat your patients." Shaking her head in frustration, she looked up and noticed all the eyes on her.

Not again. Somehow without fail Patrick managed to goad her into rants in the lobby every single day. _God only know what everyone must think of me. It must seem like I am constantly PMSing. And I'm not! If he wasn't so insufferably smug all the time this would never happen. I mean even Carly and I don't go at it this much. _Liz looked amused. Epiphany looked annoyed. Robin knew she was going to be hearing from her and only hoped she'd show Patrick the same courtesy. After all he had started it. But Patrick was her darling, she doubted Epiphany would do anything.

"You know Dr. Scorpio, next time, you are in the mood for an emotional release, let me know. I have some suggestions both of us will find infinitely more enjoyable." Patrick's smirk was on full display. Leaning closer, so only she could hear he added, "it's kinky, but if you are an exhibitionist, I am sure we can figure something out."

Something inside her snapped. But before her hand could make contact with his cheek he caught it and held it tightly in this. "Stop making such a spectacle," Robin hissed.

Patrick laughed softly, dangerously, and moved closer, looking at her carefully. _Is he going to kiss me_. Robin's skin flushed and her eyes closed in anticipation, she heard his breath on her ear, "That's something coming from you."

She could feel something burning irrationally hot inside her anger, her ego, her heart, all of her. "I hate you. You are like gum that gets stuck to the bottom of a shoe and is impossible to scrap off. Like bird crap on my windshield, marring a perfectly good view… like…"

"Ok. Ok. I get the picture. I'm the scum of the earth. Funny you weren't singing that tune last night. In fact, the way I remember it you were trying to take advantage of me in my emotionally weak state. What was the word you used… ba…"

"God. Of all the shallow, no good…You would think that wouldn't you! Well in case you didn't notice, AZT and alcohol don't mix well. It's not called a drug cocktail for nothing. Now let go of me. I have patients to see and people to save from your scalpel happy hands." Robin shook herself loose from his grasp and walked down the hallway. Actually stomped was more like it. It was, the staff at General Hospital realized, amazing how much noise such a small, petite, normally sweet woman could make.


	4. With a Turn of The Head

Robin was sitting in the break room taking a breather and enjoying chamomile tea. It was supposed to be calming and her day had been anything but. She put her feet up on the table and leaned back trying to stretch the kinks out of her back. She felt like one of those wind-up toys from a Happy Meal. She was already too tense. But after her "discussion" with Patrick, she bumped into Sonny.

_Things used to be so natural with Sonny. And she missed that. Now they were awkward around each other. Too much had changed. Before there had been Stone and Brenda. And now, now there was really nothing. Nothing but memories. Still it really wasn't supposed to be so weird. Maybe I spend too much time living in the past. _

Despite the time that had left them strangers, Robin found herself pitying Sonny. Something was clearly eating at him. Part of it was Sam, but there was something more. She was pretty sure Jason wasn't speaking to him. In her recollection that had never happened before. And although her memory was a tad blurry and Emily had by no means been at her most lucid last night, she had clearly started something between Sonny and Jason. Things in the Port Charles mob weren't business as usual. She just hoped it could be resolved without too many more visits to the ER.

She heard her pager beep, but made no move to answer it. The tea made her feel less tired and more relaxed. And although she hated to admit it, seeing Sam and Jason had bothered her more than she had expected. _Is it really that easy to replace an old love with a new one? I don't love Jason anymore, at least I don't think I do, but I can't cut him out of my heart yet. It doesn't matter that he has moved on. I do not want to let go of what we were. What was that line, I just read it somewhere… "women love the longest, even when all hope is gone"._

Her pager was beeping incessantly. _Maybe there is nothing wrong with keeping people in your heart as long as you didn't close it off to others...like a certain doctor._ Rubbing her eyes, trying to refocus, she looked down at her pager and sighed, then she heard him bellow, "Scorpio".

Patrick sounded a little out of breathe and more than a little annoyed when he entered the break room. He had been paging Robin forever _(okay, just five minutes) _without any response so he had been forced to run around the hospital looking for her. He hated running after people. _One little fight and she totally shuts down. I thought she was better than that._

"Where have you been? We've been looking all over. We need you in Sam McCall's room." Robin mumbled something, but Patrick didn't wait for an answer and pulled her rather ungentley out the door.

"Wait," Robin virtually ordered, extricating her arm from Patrick, and pulling him to the side. "I have to ask you something."

Patrick simply arched his eyebrow in response.

"No, no. This is serious," she said, trying to make him understand. She flipped her hair twice, nervously, before stopping herself. She hated that habit in women. It was what the blonde, air head, cheerleaders in high school used to do. "It's about last night."

They were both facing each other leaning against the hallway wall. As soon as she mentioned the other night, she noticed Patrick tense up and lean forward as if preparing to answer her attack. _Great_. _This is going to be a lot harder than expected. He's already got his guard up and I haven't even said anything yet. Is this what we have become? Caricatures of ourselves._

"Look, I am not trying to pick a fight," Robin backed up. She turned around not willing to face him as she asked the question. "I need to know. Well, it's important to me to know. Why did you turn down my proposal last night? I thought it's what you wanted."

When she didn't hear anything, she turned around. He was looking straight ahead at her but not really seeing her. The wheels in his head turning so hard, she could almost hear them. Feeling her gaze, he laughed nervously. "Well that's a loaded question."

Nervousness was an unusual quality in Dr. Drake. She watched himself try and buy more time. Finally, he spoke, and it sounded like the words were being ripped out of his mouth. "You didn't really want to did you? It was the last thing on your mind earlier in the week. I didn't want you to hate me in the morning, and I didn't want you to hate yourself either…"

She wondered how many other women he had said the same thing to before. Like the word 'commitment', she doubted those words had crossed his lips before. And truthfully, she felt a surge of power, knowing she could compel such confessions from him.

Patrick felt uncomfortable and unsure of himself. Heartfelt confessions weren't his thing, but dammit if Robin didn't keep asking for them. "I was just trying to be that nice guy you claim to see and like."

Robin smiled at him and reached up to touch his teach. "I do like him. I do like you. Thank you." She raised herself up on her toes to kiss his cheek, but something distracted him and he turned. The next thing he knew he was kissing Robin.

_Sorry if this transition was bad… I can't do mushy well…_


End file.
